I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
How's work?
Spinning.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
