We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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