I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he puts the penis in happiness.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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