question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
