He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Even my vagina gasped.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
