Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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