Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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