ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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