Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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