she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
