He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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