he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I understand Curling. That high.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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