At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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