i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
