do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
