Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
