i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
