life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
