If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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