So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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