His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
