Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
