the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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