my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
