Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
