never play flip cup with pint glasses
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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