I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
