You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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