I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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