He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
