loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
