Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
