You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Even the bartender felt bad for me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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