i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
