I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
