you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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