You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
