yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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