He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
