oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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