What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
