Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
