i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
