PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
