yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
