Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
