Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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