Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
