i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
