College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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