i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
