I think I died a long time ago.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
