Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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