if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
